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Privacy Policy

MicroCon27.com
Last updated: Whenever we remembered to.

Greetings, digital traveler! You’ve reached the Privacy Policy page of MicroCon27.com, the only micronational conference website bold enough to admit it probably is tracking you… but in the most loving, absurdly bureaucratic way possible.

By accessing this site, you’re agreeing to let us do things with your data that sound way more exciting than they actually are. Trust us, we’re not that interesting — we’re a fake country with real paperwork.

1. Who We Are (Besides Fabulous)

This website is proudly run by Republic of Slowjamastan LLC, a sovereign-sounding legal entity headquartered in a business park next to a dentist and two insurance agents.

Contact Info for Paper Trail Purposes:

Republic of Slowjamastan LLC
℅ The Consulate of The Republic of Slowjamastan
6160 Cornerstone Court East, Suite 150
San Diego, CA 92121
📞 +1 (602) 535-2140
📧 info@slowjamastan.org

We respond to inquiries in 3–7 business days, or whenever His Excellency The Sultan emerges from a ceremonial nap.

2. What Data We Collect (And How Often We Snooze Through It)

When you browse MicroCon27.com, we may collect the following information:

  • Your IP address (aka your digital footprint — thanks, Internet!)
  • Your browser type, which we promise not to make fun of (unless it’s Internet Explorer)
  • The pages you visit, how long you stay, and what made you leave (probably the Terms of Service)
  • Any forms you fill out, including name, email, and other secrets you voluntarily hand over like it’s a trust fall exercise

We also collect your vibes, but only metaphorically.

3. How We Use Your Info (Spoiler: Not for World Domination… Yet)

We use your info to:

  • Confirm your MicroCon 27 registration, so we don’t have to send a pigeon
  • Send you updates, announcements, or important last-minute schedule changes (like when someone forgets their crown)
  • Analyze traffic and site usage, mostly so we can pretend we know what Google Analytics means
  • Make the site slightly better, or at least we’ll try. No promises.

4. Sharing is Caring… But Mostly We Don’t

We don’t sell your data to third parties, evil overlords, or rogue micronations. That would be rude. We may share data with:

  • Trusted vendors (our web team, our email platform, and the guy who fixes our printer)
  • Law enforcement if absolutely required (and if they bring a warrant and donuts)
  • The Intergalactic Federation of Micronations, but only for ceremonial purposes

5. Cookies (Not the Delicious Kind)

Yes, we use cookies. No, you can’t eat them. These tiny data packets help us:

  • Remember if you’ve already filled out the contact form
  • Track site traffic like some kind of amateur NSA
  • Judge whether you’re cool enough to come to MicroCon

You can disable cookies in your browser, but then you might miss out on vital features like… fonts. And our ability to pretend we understand A/B testing.

6. Your Rights (According to Real and Imaginary Laws)

Depending on where you live — California, the EU, or a remote island you declared sovereign — you may have the right to:

  • Access the data we have on you
  • Demand we delete it
  • Ask us to explain why we’re so obsessed with your browser history
  • Opt out of emails (but why would you want to miss MicroCon updates?!)

To invoke these sacred digital rights, email info@slowjamastan.org with the subject line: “I Demand Justice (and Also Data Deletion).”

7. Data Retention (aka The Great Digital Hoard)

We’ll keep your data:

  • For as long as it’s useful
  • Until MicroCon 27 ends
  • Or until someone accidentally deletes our database during karaoke night

Whichever comes first.

8. Data Security (We Use at Least One Password)

We take security seriously. We use:

  • Strong passwords (that don’t include “password123”)
  • SSL encryption
  • A strict “no Crocs in the server room” policy

Despite this, we can’t promise total immunity from hackers, rogue AI, or nosy interns. But if something happens, we’ll notify you ASAP — probably via a strongly worded TikTok.

9. Policy Updates (Bureaucracy Never Rests)

We might change this Privacy Policy whenever we want. Or need to. Or get bored. If we do, we’ll update this page and maybe notify you, depending on our mood.

10. Final Thoughts (Because Everything Needs a Dramatic Ending)

Thanks for reading this far. Most people quit halfway. You’re either extremely diligent, or extremely suspicious — either way, we respect it.

If you have questions, concerns, or just want to say “Long Live The Sultan,” send your message by email, carrier pigeon, or via an official diplomatic envoy.

📍Republic of Slowjamastan LLC
Consulate of The Republic of Slowjamastan
6160 Cornerstone Court East, Suite 150
San Diego, CA 92121
📧 info@slowjamastan.org
📞 +1 (602) 535-2140