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OPERATION: POLE VAULT

The Flagpole Odyssey No One Asked For

Every two years, MicroCon hosts a spectacle: a grand hall lined with nearly 30 flags, each one proudly representing a micronation. But here’s the thing—those flags don’t just magically appear, standing tall on their polished poles. Somebody has to move them. All 28 telescoping flagpoles, with their bases and finials, from one MicroCon city to the next. And that’s where the madness begins. Those flags don’t just teleport into place. They travel. Thousands of miles. Across borders, customs, and occasionally a hijacked Corvette. This is the story of how the poles get there.

The Last Relay
From Joliet, Illinois, to Montreal, Quebec, 28 telescoping flagpoles embarked on a three-phase journey worthy of a spy novel.

  • Phase I: Ladonia’s Queen Carolyn crammed the poles into the “Royal Chariot,” drove 16 hours, and charmed her way past a border guard who was clearly unprepared for this level of micronational drama. A state visit to the House of Mars, lunch, and polite nods later, the poles were safely delivered.

  • Phase II: Slabovia’s USS Indigo Montoya became a floating warehouse. Crew cleaned, counted, and even fabricated missing parts. After a smooth ride to Kingston, Ontario, the cargo was transferred at One-Eyed Jack’s to the AEAV Lexi. Lunch, restroom critiques, and a masterclass in Tetris packing followed before the Lexi departed.

  • Phase III: The Indigo Montoya attempted a throne-shopping detour; the Lexi suffered a bizarre hijacking to a shopping center. Somehow, the poles made it to Montreal. Miracles happen.

The Next Chapter
Now, the saga restarts. The poles must travel from Montreal to San Diego for MicroCon 27. Thousands of miles. Borders. Customs officers with zero patience for this kind of nonsense. Micronations handing off the cargo like a relay baton—but this baton is long, heavy, and demands respect.

Right now, the poles sit in Montreal under the careful watch of Emperor Eric and the Aerican Empire. But soon they’ll roll again. Who will charm the next border guard? Who will master the Tetris of telescoping flagpoles? Who will survive the highway snack aisle temptations?

Follow this space. Real-time updates. Suspense. Diplomacy. Slight chaos. The flags are moving west, and the story is just beginning.

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